It’s been an interesting month. I’ve had to step away from a few things because of moving to a new home, coping with grief within out family, and the challenges of having children who continue to grow up despite my insistence that they don’t. For certain personality groups, especially creative introverts like myself, these challenges bring about one issue above any other: the thought of the “what if.”
The toughest thought of them all is the darkest, creeping thought that seeks release: just end it right now.
I’ve learned to cover up this thought well. I don’t even see it most days. I don’t usually care about it when it does appear. Yet in those moments when stress is at its highest and problems are difficult to bear, there it is. It’s always been there. It will likely always be there.
Many are saddened by the passing of Robin Williams, especially in the manner that it happened. Some have called him a coward. Others question why. What I do know is this: unless you have that dark, creeping thought come your way, it’s a bit difficult sometimes to understand the processes involved.
Some might see suicide as a sin. Others might even say suicidal thoughts as a sin in religious circles. The harsh reality is this: suicide isn’t a permanent solution to temporary problems. It is seen as the only solution that can grant freedom.
Who doesn’t want that?